I am sort of at peace now. Yeah. Sort of. One step at a time.
I have been taught when I was still a fragile child that children should never interfere with the grown-ups’ affairs. I would agree, that is, if you are still under 18. Nevertheless, being of the legal age is a mere categorization. I don’t think it would really matter. My education outside of my immediate family taught me ‘radical’ values that would often conflict with that of my parents. Having said that, I could remember my younger self addressing a congregation in my church about the youth and family and I could still see the squirming faces of the elders. I was wondering then if they could not just understand what I was saying about or they totally disagree with my contentions. Well, they let me speak in behalf of the youth of that generation. And they got our sentiments.
That’s why I was the ‘black sheep’ of the family. Really? I would rather call myself misunderstood. Because they never understood me and would seemingly never understand where I was coming from. But I have never failed to understand them and their absurd principles. I compromised in the name of reverence and love.
I am not bitter. All of these made me a stronger person that I am now. I may not be expressive in what I think or feel (precisely because of my upbringing) but I know where I stand.