i miss singing


i really miss singing.

ever since my 3rd grade, i’ve been singing with a church choir and my school’s. our school choir participated in the different choir competitions. it is where my passion for singing grew. i’ve learned singing techniques and imbibed a singer discipline. since then, i’ve been singing.

come high school years, i also auditioned for our university’s junior choir and passed. i even became a leader of the group during my senior year. this time i really enhanced my singing even when the timber and tone of my voice changes (adolescence) from a ‘tiple’ to first tenor. discipline has also been strict: i even had a punch in my stomach from our conductor when i could not sustain a note; and almost fainted when the same conductor shouted in front of me telling two basses to go out of the music room since they could not get the notes right. it is also during my junior year that i began to explore the world of musical theater and was instantly attracted and awed by lea salonga in miss saigon. i bought the double cd original london cast recording and my day would never pass without listening to the soundtrack. i almost memorized the whole libretto then (and even up to now).

i never had the same exposure in college as during my high school days. besides, there are a few musical activities in the university (a premier state university) and most of them do not interest me. i concentrated therefore with my studies and reaped academic honors. nevertheless, i still continued my singing with our church choir. and i discovered the music of les miserables and since then, it became my life’s anthem. i even tried reading the unabridged version of the novel by victor hugo (it’s just like reading the history of france!). the characters and themes of les miserables became by life’s inspiration and tried building a castle on a cloud. but i’m still looking for someone who will buy my soul for god.

i was also admitted to a professional choir. and technical training was incomparable with what i have went through so far. but it was a short stint since i have to go somewhere and begin my present career. since then, i stopped singing but i did not stop the song of life for me. i traversed a different life then though the love of music and singing never ceased. it’s just disappointing (i hate myself for it but it already happened) that my voice already cracks because of smoking and it seemed that it lowered to baritone.

how i wish i could find the opportunity to sing again.

i really miss singing. i want my voice to soar again.


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