The past 2 to 3 weeks have not been so good to me in terms of emotions. As I’ve said in my one of my previous posts, I’ve had whirlwinds of emotion for days. Office work and stress contributed a lot to these bursts of emotions…I think.
My annoyance would often lead to anger. I don’t know exactly why I feel this way nowadays but trying to look back to the circumstances, I thought they are all petty in general. So I thought I should not feel this way at all. Hmnnn…the past is holding me again and pulls me down.
I hope writing this post would make me feel better. Maybe I should forgive. But forgiveness seems to be difficult when there is still fire burning. Should I put it out prematurely? I usually let things flow as they are hoping the succeeding circumstances would heal the wounds. And I often stay silent and keep things to myself. Most often this strategy works. But somehow things begin to build up inside me and I am having difficulty managing them.
I tend to be strong outside but I am not.
You can see me almost always smiling but my heart is actually not.
I bury myself with work to forget things but I find it hard to sleep.
I change my perspectives but I am pulled back.